smile for me. (:

yesterday was Good Friday, blog.

you knoe--the day that Jesus died for us on the cross.

ever since i was small i've always heard: Jesus died for you on the cross. He loves you very much.

and the story of how Jesus died would be told over and over and over again.

and maybe i would feel sad. sympathize with Jesus. because it wasn't fair for Him to die. because it was so painful--to have nails driven through your wrists and feet.

i recall my fourth grade sunday school teacher, auntie julie, telling us that the nails the soldiers used to secure Jesus on the cross were nails that weren't sharp. they were dull so it took more force to hammer the nails into Jesus' flesh. @_@ and she said: how would you guys feel if you guys had to be Jesus? how would you guys feel if you had nails driven into your wrists?

and i just cringed when i thought about nails going through my wrists because the whole thing is just so brutal. too brutal.

and i just thought: poor Jesus.

and i'd try to push it out of my mind to to think of pleasanter things.

at the same time, maybe i would feel happy because Jesus loves me. showing his undying love for all of us by dying for us.

or maybe i would just stand aloof. Jesus died for me. okae. thanks.

or maybe i just take everything that Jesus did for me--for granted: His suffering, His excruciating pain, His love, His dying on the cross for us--taking the punishment for us all.

maybe i HAVE been taking Him for granted all my life.

yes i have been. -_-

i haven't given it much thought before except for once. when i thought about the phrase: "Jesus loves you."

i remember i was thinking how sad it was that Jesus died on the cross for us. and i cried for five minutes. but that was pity tears.

i thought about that two years ago, blog.

and i remember i was just sitting there another time--and i was thinking how it was so weird that God loves me--because He's so big. and there's millions and millions of other people. and He loves them. but as insignificant as i am, He loves ME too. and He's God. but He loves me. He loves me!! (: and i was happy.

but that soon faded.

looking over the Bible study yesterday that was written by jonathan, i realized there is so much more than just: Jesus loves you.

We often grow up in Sunday school with the teacher telling us that, "Jesus Loves You." Many of us know very well that he does love us, but unfortunately we know it in our heads and rarely do we understand it in our hearts. I remember the first time I came to the realization that I was totally accepted and loved by Jesus, it literally changed my life, it changed who I am. The best part is Jesus' love is so great that it never fully be understood and so as I grow in the faith the knowledge of his love in my life becomes greater. Not so much that God loves me more but more like I understand this love more. But it's His love that can change us and comfort us and make bring us to that very place of security and peace that we all long to know. But before we can actually begin to understand this love we need to come to the very place where God's love for us we was demonstrated, the foot of the cross. That's what Good Friday's all about, remembering the cross.
--Jonathan Chan

but i forgot. and i forget. He was the one who gave up His life for me. He took my place, my punishment, my pain, my shame--and He didn't have to.

He had a choice. Jesus had a choice if He wanted to die or not. He could've called the angels to come down from heaven and bring Him back home--where he could live happily with no pain.

even God was sad. because His only Son was going to die. but He knew that it was the only way for us to be free from the penalty of sin and death.

it's just like that one story about how there was this disease or virus spreading through a village. let's say SARS. and there was no cure for it. until one day the doctors found out that this certain blood type can save everyone. so everyone's blood was tested.

and they found that your son--your only son matched that blood type. but in order to save everyone your son would have to give out all his blood--which would mean his death. it's painful and heartbreaking yet you decide what's best and give up Your son to save the whole village.

saying the last goodbye, your son goes to give out his blood to save the village and he dies. so everyone's cured. and happy.

at your son's funeral, some people cry because your son saved their lives. and some other people just pretend to feel sad but they don't really care. some people don't even come to the funeral. they overslept. they don't care.

but after a time, everyone forgets.

and you feel devastated about how anyone could forget about your son and how he was brave enough to die for everyone--at such a young age.

._. Jesus knew He was going to die. He knew it was a painful death. He knew how He was going to die. and He had a choice.

yet He loved us enough to go through all that pain and suffering to save us.

"this is how we knoe what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. and we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers." --1 john 3:16

did you knoe that Jesus died from a broken heart, blog? -_-

if Jesus didn't die for me, i wouldn't be where i am today. same for you too.

don't take this for granted: Jesus loves you. and me. (: